44. AN AMUSING WAR SCENARIO
As fuel supplies get tight, OPEC looks at the per capita consumption numbers (see #25), and realizes that the U.S. is the problem. They decide to do an intervention on the Big Junky. They reduce output to 50% of its current level, and tell the Americans they need to get their house in order and start conserving. And sign the Kyoto Treaty.
As usual, the Americans go INSANE. It's an act of war. Blood! That's the solution. The American way of life is not negotiable! Rev your monster trucks! Kill OPEC!
These threats are pretty scary for the drug dealer (OPEC), so he decides to defuse the Big Junky by cutting off all supplies. Now the game is on. Can the U.S. subdue OPEC with its army, and secure the oil before it goes into severe withdrawal symptoms? I'm thinking: probably not. Can the U.S. win four or five Iraq's at the same time using only its own production and the SPR (Strategic Petroleum Reserve)? I think they're going to run out of gas before they get enough oil to recover their strength. And if the U.S. even gets close to seizing an OPEC country, the locals can just demolish the oil infrastructure, like the irrational primitives they are. Blow it into little tiny pieces. The Big Junky's going to be mighty dope sick while he tries to pacify that country. He'll probably pass out, still without a good fix, and be set upon by flies.
The U.S. has got this glaring Achilles heel, a big soft underbelly. In fact, at this point, the U.S. is in a position not that different from Japan in WWII -- a country without any oil or gas. They'd have to fight with a handicap, like Nazi Germany, fueling their machines with liquefied coal and alcohol.
When the U.S. first started mucking around in the Middle East after 9-11, I felt so sorry for the muslims. It was like a bunch of skinny, malnourished, dirty kids in a street fight with a huge Gundam robot. The poor bastards didn't stand a chance. Then I noticed that the robot, fearsome as it was, had a power cord, and was plugged into the wall. All you needed was one skinny kid to slip through and pull the plug...
The strategy to make the U.S. cave in is simple: lure them into a fight that takes lots and lots of gasoline. They can't fuel a war and suburbia at the same time, and they can't get rid of suburbia because, well, they just can't.