61. AMERICA COLLAPSES... NEWS AT 11:00
The doomers inform us that America has been strapped into position and the guillotine blade has been raised. Peak oil, the consumer debt crisis, fiat money, the weakening petro dollar, bird flu, global warming, the assault on the bill of rights, resource wars, topsoil degradation, depleted aquifiers, people who would rather cannibalize each other than take the bus etc. etc. Any day now, the whole house of cards is going to collapse into anarchy.
Personally, I'm a little more optimistic, but (just for fun) let's assume that America does crash and burn. This is going to be a source of great amusement and mirth in the peasant agriculture zones of the world. All the locals are going to turn up and watch it on the solar powered TV at the co-op. They'll be getting daily feeds as a running news series called "America Collapses..." with a nifty graphic in the corner of the U.S. map sagging like one of Salvador Dali's clocks. It'll be like an old silent era slapstick comedy, with American fatties out trying to grow food in their yards, and failing pathetically -- hoeing with the wrong end of the hoe, dying of a heart attack after digging one hole etc. etc. The peasants will parade around the TV, laughing hysterically, mocking the Americans in their jabbering languages, making razz noises with their lips. Yes, even in its death throes, America will be entertainer to the world.